Burnout

 

Burnout. A state of physical or emotional exhaustion that also involves a sense of reduced accomplishment and loss of personal identity. Some symptoms of this can include, but aren’t limited to: exhaustion, irritability, isolation, wishing for an escape, and even being physically sick. Countless people experience burnout every day. 

I am no different. Not because of my mental illness, but because burnout can affect anyone. Factoring in bipolar with burnout though, for me, can be a recipe for an episode. For me, an episode can cause a hospitalization. 

Lately, I have been feeling overwhelmed. For the first time I have dreaded work days. Not because I hate my job, I love my job, but because I have been so stressed out. I have been physically sick off and on for a month now. I have been tossing and turning all night and then sleeping most of the day away on my days off. I have been short tempered. I would rather be alone than go anywhere.

I feel so underappreciated at times, not just at work but at home as well. I feel humiliated because I have been having to ask for help, and then neglected when I don’t get it. I feel like a failure because I am a 30 year old woman and should have my life together. Then back to the humiliation for being in the state I am.

Sometimes I forget to take into account that it is ok to need a little extra help at times. That burnout is not just limited to your job, but could be a combination of everything. I have been feeling alone a lot lately. Isolating myself from family and friends. Which makes me feel even worse, and more alone. It’s literally a vicious cycle that I get stuck in.

For me, I take things to heart and overthink everything. It is a personal flaw that I am trying to work on, but have a long way to go. Add in being burnt out and a chemical imbalance in my brain and it could be a recipe for disaster. Thankfully though, I am getting better at recognizing my triggers.

Everybody needs to take time for themselves. Learn the signs of burnout. Do what you love and relax. Read a book, take that vacation, just learn to treat yourself and don’t try to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.